Recently discovered the wonderfully insane world of menswear and have no idea what the hell people are talking about? Menswear bloggers seem to speak their own language and if you’re new to it, you’re most likely scratching your head wondering “what the hell is mewelry?!”. Rather than opening up your Netscape Navigator and asking Jeeves, here’s an easy A-Z guide of #menswear ready for your digestion. Trust me, you’ll be cuffing your trousers by 2” and lining up for the next drop of Boglioli in no time.
A is for Ankles – The cleavage of menswear.
B is for Blogger Blue – tone of blue that lies within a spectrum that can only be seen by menswear bloggers and bats. Lies somewhere between royal blue and cerulean blue.
C is for Camo – In a rare moment of irony, camo was picked as the default pattern for people who wanted to shout from the rooftops “I’m #menswear!”.
D is for Double monk – The shoe that swept the nation and has since made Sid Mashburn a billionaire. Also known as Dubs. Also known as bloggerbait.
E is for Espadrille – Footwear for the commoners and fashion heavy hitters alike. Bonus points for correcting people who call the jute sole “rope”.
F is for Freeruns – Coveted for their ability to add a casual elegance to your outfit. Also, they’re goddamn comfy.
G is for G-shock – The brand of hard-wearing watches made by Casio. While the meaning of the “G” has never been confirmed, experts believe it be either “gravity” or “gangsta rhymez”.
H is for How to posts – Without these, men around the world wouldn’t know which tie knot goes with what collar and intricate process that is shoving a pocket square into your breast pocket.
I is for Instagram – Photoshop for the upwardly mobile menswear enthusiast who lacks time and craves convenience.
J is for Jak + Jil – Everybody’s favourite street style blog ever since the Sart lost his mind.
K is for Knit tie – The tie with a personality without feeling too dandy. Rules state that you must have at least two. At least one should adhere to strict Brooks Brothers specifications.
L is for Lino – Steezy old Italian dude who happens to be a street style god. Will give you a ride if you ask.
M is for Mewelry – No outfit is complete without a 6-stack of faintly ethnic bracelets.
N is for Neapolitan – Refers to both the soft tailoring style and the ice cream.
O is for Outfit post – Proof to the world that you can pull off DB’s and Dub Monks, just like the pros. Preferably staged on the streets of New York, so it feels “real”.
P is for Pitti Uomo – The world wide convention of menswear nerds where grown men gather in their cosplay of Isaia and Aspesi and nerd out on the latest bucket hats and shirting styles.
Q is for Quilted jacket – The protective outer layer for the males species during the colder months. It is thought that the insulated interior protects their bodies from the harsh weather during holiday shopping season.
R is for Raw denim – If you want those whisker marks, you’re going to have to work for it like a man. Beware of crotch blowout. You’ll know it when it happens.
S is for Styleforum – The root of all that is evil and good.
T is for Tumblr – The platform on which the menswear movement has stood on and eventually collapse in on itself.
U is for Uniqlo – Mass produced menswear people believe in. You can trust the Japanese to make linen sportscoats for twenty bucks.
V is for Velvet slippers – Menswear’s latest victim of overexposure. May have jumped the shark when Jimmy Choo got on board.
W is for Wooster – The most reblogged face in menswear street style. Best stache in the business.
X is for the X in collabs – The menswear equivalent of a circlejerk.
Y is for Yeezy – /slang/ The inescapable force that is Kanye West. Somehow we always get sucked in to his world, for better or for worse.
Z is for Zegna – Ermigda-something something. Fresh suits.