I wanted to ask this question because it still troubles me as a "young" female. Here is the scenario I was placed in yesterday:

I had been asked by one of the ladies from my office to help her at her 60th Birthday party on Sunday...to help out in the kitchen and basically see that the guests all had drinks etc etc. Her brother (whom was also of the older nature, and may I add...quite plump) was helping me out in the beginning. I noticed that he was starting to tell me about the ladies he was interested in and then eventually he was saying stuff like..."sweetie" "darling" and following it up with a rub on my back. Then I noticed him staring at me while I would have my back to him....with the odd *wink*...there were other things I noticed too...but they were the more dominant. Soooo...with my intolerance for men like this, I figured I couldn't just go "%^^*%^ off blah blah blah" karate chop to the testicles...knee kick & drop to the forehead, stiletto to the eye socket... so I stopped any eye contact with him. When he asked me a question I answered with my head faced down...no eye contact what so ever...when he asked how I was (which was too frequent) I would become shorter and shorter with my answers, in a non aggressive but direct manner. Well anyway...the afternoon passed and he got the message, or so I thought...when it was time to leave he offered (in front of his sister and his partner who had now arrived) to drive me home...so I accepted, being the "polite" thing to do. In the car, in a last resort attempt, he started to tell me where he lived. The suburb is quite effluent and I am thinking that he perhaps thought it meant he was of that nature. So anyway, he didn't try anything and as we neared my house I unbelted and practically jumped out of the car at the speed of 5km. I "think" he got the message.

Soooo, although I felt I handled the situation appropriately...it has still left me...hmmm.......slightly pissed off. To the point where it makes me wonder what other females would do in that situation. I know that being of a younger nature I would of ended up in tears over it all. And it certainly does make me want to cry for any females that don't know how to handle someone like this.

Does anyone else out there face these types of people, male or female? And how did/do you handle the situation?

xxV

The best one I ever heard was a girl who was not very attractive came up to him and said "*Name removed*, I really really like you, I think we should go out", he replies "That's nice" and walks off.

Yes it does kind of sux when an older male is so confident simply b/c he is wealthy. Could we safely assume that perhaps females are partially to blame too? If all of us did what u did soho babi, then eventually the male population would get it right? right? I have shed some tears as opposed to approaching my girlfriends b/c I know that being females, we like to judge & think the female may very well have provoked the situation. That's why my 14 year old sister is my best friend!

On saturday night in our 'outing group' was a mate from uni. Little did I know he drives a sports car & is not finalising his studies next semester b/c he has apparently been offered an attractive salary package. His girlfriend approached me to try on my T&Co bangle & the first thing he said was 'I've been shopping there before'. Why does he feel the need to say this? She's only having some fun showing off his wealthy trait ;) It's quite hilarious how he introduces her as 'oo this is the girl i'm dating at the moment'. If I was her, I'd be introducing him as 'this is the guy that is buying me gifts from Tiffanys atm'. :)

Soho I hate being in that situation... Like when you're nice to someone and they seem to take that as authority to never leave you alone again. It's hard when it's someone you have to see all the time - there's a particular person I have this problem with - having them call my mobile 'accidentally' and sometimes I just turn around and they are there... it freaks me right out. I have to slink around at the train station every morning like it's some kind of reconnaissance mission, avoiding them and making sure I run in the other direction if I see them on the platform. It's annoying not being able to just 'be' because you're constantly on the look out because you don't want to have to deal with them. Grr...

Soho, that made me squirm - you handled it much better than I have in similar sits.
But I'm still laughing about the 'effluent' suburb - is that from Kath and Kim by any chance?

Post by Allan

The best one I ever heard was a girl who was not very attractive came up to him and said "*Name removed*, I really really like you, I think we should go out", he replies "That's nice" and walks off.

Thats hilarious Allan

Sorry to hear SoHo... :(

Why didn't yu tell me earlier? =(

Hahaha...yep it is beckyb...trying to add a bit of humour. Glad u laughed! :-)

I am just venting i suppose...because I am sick of having issues like this being swept under the rug and put down to 'she must of asked for it'...or...'wot was she wearing?'. Or not even that really...just the fact it is not discussed and girls go unheard everywhere with similar circumstances...

As you mention Tania...why do we or should we have to hide if we are direct? Why is it that if I am nice it is reflected in unwanted attention and if I am not nice it is seen that I am a bitch? Well okay...bad day...but more often then not this is the case!

That is down right creepy turning around and they are there. That is wot I also mean by 'stalking'...when u look at someone and they stalk u because they misinterpret it for u being interested in them...happens to me regularly at pubs/clubs and I have near on been in a fight over it...yep a male wanted to fight me over it...wot a man.

I don't generally talk to males about this sort of stuff MJKoolio because it never seems to get heard. I had a friend tell me "he didn't want to hear about it" and it was on a much larger scale than this. So I figured there is nothing that really stops it from occuring but discussing it can allow females and/or males to feel a little at ease with it...and perhaps combat it from happening to them.

I am not trying to sound all feminist here...so pls don't take offence if it sounds like it.
xxV

sadly it happens all to often and well i think in these tough situations it really shows what kind of person u r. Alot of people who have just yelled and told them to go away (in a nice way im sure) but soho, u held ur nerve and got the message across... without being bitchy about it. I mean they cant exactly help having the hots for sumone so why crush them over it??? but there is a limit of where it suddenly becomes alot more serious... i.e. not letting the person go, saying indecent things etc.

i think the method used by soho here was a good example of how to effectivly treat this kind of stuff.

well i know exactly how you feel except in my circumstance it can become a tad more dangerous being much younger, wlel not much but u no..
i do promo work as well as dance floor shows and generally out alot with people much older then me, during work and play :) i find myself im many situations similar to yours and i find the best way to avoid it is simply saying upfront " im sorry to be rude, but you are putting me in an uncomfrotbale situation, and i think you may have goten the wrong impression of me," i also tend to be very friendly, and give people the wrong idea, but it really does piss me off that guys think that because i am wearing sumthing a tad skimpy ( dance costume) or that i have smiled at them or had a conversation, they hav the green light

take note men... girls can be friendly without other intentions!!!!

what sickens me even more.. is sometimes to get rid of older perverts i say " did i mention i was 17" and they are like oh cool... :S ( im not talking only about 25+.. it like stems into 40s)