I was just admidst a rather deep conversation regarding relationships with a few guy friends of mine (yes they're rare...and we secretly enjoy them lol) and of course i'd love to hear a female perspective (or more male perspectives).

Things that tend to kill a relationship...the big thing that really popped out amongst all of us would be:

Insecure girls. Then again insecurity in a guy would probably kill a relationship too, however it seems like an insecure girl really seems to be tough for guys to handle. It seems like insecurity is the root of most other traits like jealousy, being controlling, constant nagging, etc.

Anyways I probably opened a can of worms, but hey relationships are fun to bash and fun to talk about! lol

Yes, it's always interesting to talk about a relatiosnhip since each is unique and never follow a pattern...

Well, for gals out there, in order not to be insecure, they have to keep a distance, not get involved too much, not give more than enough. Just give a bit: be stingy! especially if you are not even 51% sure it's "him." (This avoids transferrable diseases, too...)

Just keep looking for fun (because FUN is much much better than a lousy partner) and keep yourself full of fun. Then you'll see why you need not be insecure. There are a lot of fun out there. Rogue, I think is supplying much info of it!

As for me, I am through it all, and I can tell you, fun is good for yourself and your self-esteem.

OMG I totally agree with both of you, insecure girls become annoying because they nag to try to keep hold of a guy, but inevitably this pushes him away.

The key to a successful relationship in my opinion is not only to be focused on the other party, but to also be true to yourself.

Traits I donât like in guys when they are in relationships that 'kill' a relationship are;
- Males that are controlling
- Stagnation - you always have to keep a relationship moving, you must evolve together
- Insincerity - couples that stay together to be safe and donât really like each other that much wont last.

haha that's awesome hearing all this other stuff. i never understood the girls that stick around with the controlling guys and what baffles me even more are the ones that enjoy being in a controlling situation (perhaps they have their own motives for being in such a relationship who knows?).

I'm with you on that stagnation point. A relationship should certainly be an evolving and something that builds both of you up. If at anytime it's just sitting stagnant...or dare I say detracting from anything I would say it's time to bail.

Then again that's easier said than done of course.

He he he...the story of our lives hey...everybody is looking for something, someone!
I agree totally 100% with Marge Cruz....Fun is the key!
Tho the most important thing for me is 'Communication' without it comes insecurities & I think trust fails without it. Males should be more excepting to communication. ;-)
These are the other killers for me:
- Manipulation/Control Freaks
- Stalkers (by this I mean, when ur at a pub/club or event & u just look at someone, sometimes u only hv to look in their direction, and they think it's an invitation to stalk u)
- Dishonesty (especially something insignificant - I just think that if ur sleeping with this person then there shld be no lies. Doesn't mean u need to share everything with them...cos some things are best kept to urself)
The most annoying trait I find tho is in woman who say things like, "I wont buy that cos such & such (partner) doesn't like it" or "that smells nice but such & such doesn't like it".....AAAARRGGGH that annoys me & I have even gone as far as giving friends the flick for it. To me they need to get an identity of their own & stay true to themselves.
xxSoHo Babi

Sometimes I think people want to kill their relationships, it makes it easier to blame someone else than yourself.
Getting defensive and treating a break up as an invididual problem is a cop out.
It should either work because it's solid,
or fail because it's not well founded.

Biggest failing;

Expectations.

we make them to break em.
take each relationship as it stands.

She'll... be still single though =P

Has anyone heard the saying, "KISS" Keep It Simple Stupid....works a treat!

I think insecurity in general is to do with the individual person and the issues they have with themselves. I don't think it is right to blame someone else - especially not your partner for your own insecurities. Trust is the glue that will hold a relationship together, once broken, it would be very difficult to get back again.

I also don't believe in changing yourself for someone else. While I do believe your partner should help you grow, you should be doing it in your own time and not because you are forced to.

I agree with the other girls....FUN and LAUGHTER is definitely needed in a relationship. I am getting married in a year and have been through all the emotions and all the tests and you know what? We are still having fun.....he makes me laugh every day. Keep that kid somewhere in you and enjoy those fun n silly moments as much as you can.

Relationship killers for both partners:
*Trust is the main thread and there are so many other issues that can feed from this one, if you are with someone intimately you have to be honest with each other.
*Insecurities from either partner could be within them or could seed from the others actions, can also come from trust issues. Men can help women with these issues instead of running away at the sight of it.....reassure your woman that whatever the problem is its okay.
*Men's lack of expressing their feelings...now i know not all men have difficulties with this but I know all women out there will agree with me when I say it is hard for them.
*Dwelling on the past......get over it and move on....growing together is the best part.
*Never assume what someone is thinking, doing or about to say and Never expect anything.....then you can never be disappointed.

For some reason in the area ive grown up in its normal for girls to settle down early... council house families are rife. I am more happy in a relationship, always have been... I have had 2 serious relationships since i was 15... im now 18. The guy i am with now is great, hes gorgeous, sensitive and intelligent. but he is VERY jealous and possesive. We tend to spend most of our time together but when we are apart, my phone is constantly going off. I know there are reasons behind his insecurity which is why i tolerate it as much as i do. but it is really sufforcating. So it isnt just girls!! :P xx