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characteristics that kill a relationship
My boyfriend gets jealous of my guy friends too... which really bothers me. Because when I befriend guys in the sense that I've befriended my ONLY two guy friends, it's in a brother/sister-like relationship.
He doesn't seem to realize that, though, and has told me that he gets jealous when I go hang out with them instead of him. It's so funny, though. It's a complete roll-reversal from what it usually is for me. I am usually the jealous one, but my boyfriend hardly has any girls who will hang out, now that we are dating.
Anyways, in response to ruru's last post "I think some guys just feel they can treat a woman however they want and take us for granted." I totally agree. I will be honest, I've dated a LOT of guys in the past five years, and that was honestly the biggest problem in the relationship. I would do nice things, and they would come to expect it, then get mad when I didn't do that kind of stuff everyday.
Taking someone for granted is easy to do, but a mess when you realize it, because it's usually too late to change it for the better. I would have to agree... taking people for granted (both guys and girls) is a definate relationship killer.
He doesn't seem to realize that, though, and has told me that he gets jealous when I go hang out with them instead of him. It's so funny, though. It's a complete roll-reversal from what it usually is for me. I am usually the jealous one, but my boyfriend hardly has any girls who will hang out, now that we are dating.
Anyways, in response to ruru's last post "I think some guys just feel they can treat a woman however they want and take us for granted." I totally agree. I will be honest, I've dated a LOT of guys in the past five years, and that was honestly the biggest problem in the relationship. I would do nice things, and they would come to expect it, then get mad when I didn't do that kind of stuff everyday.
Taking someone for granted is easy to do, but a mess when you realize it, because it's usually too late to change it for the better. I would have to agree... taking people for granted (both guys and girls) is a definate relationship killer.
Post by ruruI think some guys jsut feel they can treat a woman however they want and take us for granted. And its the girls who let that happen who I feel sorry for.I hat seeing guys that do that but I rarely feel sorry for the girls but more pissed off at the guys.
seeing the way they delicately change the levels on their sterio system, then comparing it to the way they talk to/touch and generally treat their girlfriends just really enrages me.
liking nice things cars) is one thing but how the fuck can they expect a woman to stay around if they mean less to them that their stereos?
Afer readong most of those posts in here I do think one major issue has been left out. The last two posts about taking women for granted, yup fair enough, it is wrong on so many levels. On the other hand take a look at all the couples next time you go out. Do you see any "nice" guys? The saying "Nice guys finish last" has taken root in our daily interactions with each other to the extend that alot of guys start thinking they have to turn into a*&holes and bad-arses in order to meet a girl.
It all boils down to insecurities in most areas although in this particular instance its also tied to what we consider "politically correct" today. I can only guess what goes on in the female mind so correct me if im wrong, but i think its something along the lines "If he cant stand up for himself, how could i expect him to ever stand up for me?" where as with guys its increasingly turning to the point where society looks down and shuns any bloke who dares say "No" to a woman, regarldess of the scenario. Everything is suddenly turned into some form of sexuel harrasment. While im not trying to say that sexuel harrasment isnt a big issue, on the contrary, I'd also like to point out a little court case that occured in England a while back.
A woman sued (and won) a bloke for sexuel harrasment because he dared open a door for her, but not for the bloke that entered the same place 2 minutes later. The basis being that he is sexist, the woman actually pushed a harrasment trial through the courts.
Instances like these just go to show how much more complicated the dynamics of interaction have become today compared to even just 50 years ago. Would like to hear more thoughts on this though.
It all boils down to insecurities in most areas although in this particular instance its also tied to what we consider "politically correct" today. I can only guess what goes on in the female mind so correct me if im wrong, but i think its something along the lines "If he cant stand up for himself, how could i expect him to ever stand up for me?" where as with guys its increasingly turning to the point where society looks down and shuns any bloke who dares say "No" to a woman, regarldess of the scenario. Everything is suddenly turned into some form of sexuel harrasment. While im not trying to say that sexuel harrasment isnt a big issue, on the contrary, I'd also like to point out a little court case that occured in England a while back.
A woman sued (and won) a bloke for sexuel harrasment because he dared open a door for her, but not for the bloke that entered the same place 2 minutes later. The basis being that he is sexist, the woman actually pushed a harrasment trial through the courts.
Instances like these just go to show how much more complicated the dynamics of interaction have become today compared to even just 50 years ago. Would like to hear more thoughts on this though.
I've found over time, that the best thing to do if you are feeling a bit insecure is realise that no matter what you do, if he's going to cheat on you he will, whether you're constantly worrying about it or not. So, the frame of mind easiest to combat this is 'to deal with it if and when it happens'. The sooner I realised that, the better my relationship became!
Now,Im an easy going wife, who trusts her husband, and I have a husband who knows he'll feel the wrath of his wife if ever her strayed!! hahaha
Now,Im an easy going wife, who trusts her husband, and I have a husband who knows he'll feel the wrath of his wife if ever her strayed!! hahaha
Hmmm from my experience the killer of any relationship is to be too clingy to the person from either sides. When your love for them is not flattering anymore, but smothers them and suffocates them. Tying them up from their friends and invading their cell phone with too many calls. But I've personally have had a horrible thunderstorm of relationships that all ended up sunken so my trick is don't seek love, don't try to find it or pick up randoms. If you were meant for love it will find you. And surely the right guy will rock on and find me accidentally without trying to look for me. It works that way i know it.
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