Is your hair like this?
If so, we're the same. I've got very thick and curly hair too. Here's what I think works best: keep your hair fairly long (below your chin, shoulder-lenght is best). That way, the curls will be weighted down and won't be as tightly coiled. Well, they should. Have shorter layers added to it, but beware not having them cut too short! A good hairdresser will know how long to keep them. Right now, I'm letting my hair grow, so I don't have layers, and the difference is obvious.
I have a greek friend who has hair that's even curlier than mine. She looks like a greek statue. In her case, no matter the lenght of her hair, the curls stays tightly coiled. She used to wear her hair at waist-lenght and it looked splendid. I asked her how she does it and here's what she told me: shampoo your hair only when it's needed and use some styling cream or gel, but never on a humid day!
My natural hair colour is fairly dark, so I had my hair lightened much to help show the curl definition. With my natural colour, all you could see was a blurry (huge) mass of dark curls and I looked ridiculous. And don't think your hair is so dark you need to do that, though. So, just avoid dark dyes, you've been warned!