my ex's sister from overseas is in Oz and Melbourne is one of the stopovers for her.....me an the ex have broken up 6 years ago....the sister is truly a nice person.....

i have a gf and want to know what everyone's view is on me catching up with the ex's sister.....

Post Last Updated:18.05.2007 at 23.42

i think its fine. i mean you weren't with the sister and having been with the ex, u cant go for the sister anyway :P
take the gf with you if she is paranoid- my old (male) friends come here from overseas all the time and if the bf is being paranoid, i just take him with

My advice would be first, to ask yourself why you're looking for approval. If it truly is just someone you'd like to catch up with, just go ahead and catch up. Be honest with your gf about what you're doing, and why you're interested in catching up, but in the end, it's your life and your choicem not hers. You won't be happy with someone if you can't be yourself around them... and if she can't be happy with you, then that won't work either.
If you're interested for another reason, like you've secretly been attracted to your ex's sister... then I'd say leave it alone. You have a gf... and as a rule it's not good to start liking your ex's sister, unless you're all into Jerry Springer. :)

I guess the moral here is you only get one life, so you gotta be yourself and do what you want... and if the person you're with is envious of what you do or she isn't sure about your intentions, then she either isn't the right match for you, or you need to take more time to communicate who you are to her.

thanks for th advise ruru and fayder....

i wasn't looking for an approval....

basically, i explained to my gf that my ex's sister was down here....took my gf out with me when we went out over the weekend....and everything is good....

you can't be more right about gotta be yourself and doing what you want fayder.....

I hope it all worked out for you! One more bit of Fayder insight if you dont mind... :)

I don't recommend making a habit of bringing your girlfriend along with you to things like this... I call it "hand holding." I think all that does is set you up for MORE questions in the future... "why didn't he take me out with him to meet his old high school friends? He took me out with him to meet his ex's sister" etc...
You don't want her to get clingy when she's feeling insecure. Keeping her directly involved is good, but make sure she feels secure in your relationship without having to follow you around everywhere!! :)
Wouldn't you like to be able to catch up with someone from your past like that without the politics of having your gf breathing over your shoulder? I know I would!

Relationships... I hate em! *L*

fayder i think u really need to relax?
my man goes out with his friends, but if he is seeing old chick friends i wanna go, not because i think he is gonna get with her (he was a bouncer and got hit on every night- i trust the guy) but to make sure she knows not to even bother. and half the time when i take him along its so the guys leave me alone. dont be so cynical, not all us girls are insecure. and before you say "oh you shouldnt have to be there he should jsut not give into them cracking onto him", he wont.

PERFECT ruru!!! im not insecure and i dont think my bf would cheat on me ( at least i hope not) but if he was going to go meet up with some other chick id damn well be there!
not to be babysitting him, but exactly what ruru said! to hake sure SHE is'nt going to try anything!! its sad i think as girls should stick together but the reality is you gotta let people know who your man is or you will have some bitch all over him. and it works vice versa! if i go to meet some guy, he comes, not because he has to watch me, he has to watch the other guy! and some might say 'oh but if you know he wouldnt cheat on you it then it doesnt matter'. when you find out later on that he had some chick all over him, no matter how much you want to believe he didn't do anything theres still some doubt, and that can destroy a relationship. if he cheated on me id break his shagin nose, but if i knew some chick was all over him shes gonna cop alot worse. if she didnt know he had a gf... thats a bit of a predicament, but if she knew, shag her life would be a living hell. sound harsh but if someone knowingly wrongs you, they deserve whatever they get.

hey guys....

i can see where you guys are coming from.....

thing is, there has to be some level of trust and knowing how well your partner would behave in any given situation....what if my gf is away on holiday and the ex's sister is in town? that would be a situation where the gf wouldn't have any control of coming....

from previous relationships, the more a girl needs to be by my side 24/7 to make sure everything is o.k., the more problems came up....i reckon people need to have their space and it boils down to not crossing the line...and this line has different definitions in different relationships.....

if my gf trust me not to do anything dodgy, then that is fine i reckon....but i can understand that the trust issue here is with the other party, not your partner......

but then again, coming back to the initial question, my ex's sister is someone i know enough that she is not going to be sleazy...if it's a total stranger, then it might be a different thing.....

and i would tell my gf if she tried something dodgy (which has a probablility of ZERO!), because from my side i have never thought of her anything than a friend.....

my gf's issue is basically the "blast from the past" thingo.....

Post Last Updated:21.05.2007 at 19.35

hey guys....

i can see where you guys are coming from.....

thing is, there has to be some level of trust and knowing how well your partner would behave in any given situation....what if my gf is away on holiday and the ex's sister is in town? that would be a situation where the gf wouldn't have any control of coming....

from previous relationships, there more a girl needs to be by my side 24/7 to make sure everything is o.k., there more problems came up....i reckon people need to have their space and it boils down to not crossing the line...and this line has different definitions in different relationships.....

if my gf trust me not to do anything dodgy, then that is fine i reckon....but i can understand that the trust issue here is with the other party, not your partner......

but then again, coming back to the initial question, my ex's sister is someone i know enough that she is not going to be sleazy...if it's a total stranger, then it might be a different thing.....

and i would tell my gf if she tried something dodgy (which has a probablility of ZERO!), because from my side i have never thought of her anything than a friend.....

my gf's issue is basically the "blast from the past" thingo.....

stereofly i think the point me and claire are getting at is that we know you boys will behave, but we also know a lot of girls out there are predatory and we dont want her thinking she has the slightest chance! You know the ex's sister won't be sleazy but your gf does not, and besides, she could have had a crush on you all that time (yes we think like this) and thats not doubting you, thats just being careful. But if it was a friend of yours that ur gf knew i'm sure there would be less of an issue- she just dont know the girl or her intentions! People do need their space though- my sister and her bf are like conjoined twins and if i was either of them, id go insane!